Mishima and Kazama's goes to Therapy (Read the authors note)
by SunnyBunni GG
Summary: After years of constantly fighting to solve their problems, The Mishima family and Kazama family decides to sort out their differences by attending a Nice, Calm family therapy to help fix their dysfunctional family. Jin, Heihachi, Kazuya, Jun, Lee, and Asuka all in one room together...Wish them luck. If you don't like, then don't review. Its that simple. :)


**I'm going to do something I don't usually do. That is making a humor fanfiction. So if I'm not funny. Don't remind me because I already know. I tried. u_u**

Jun Kazama, Heihachi, Jin, Kazuya, Lee, and Asuka all sat in circles in a therapy room. They all crossed their arms and looked at eachother. Not uttering a word.

The therapist walked in the room and broke the silence.

"Welcome. I hope you all are having a very good day." The doctor said.

"It was WAS pleasant." Heihachi grumbled.

"O..k. So tell me, what are the problems you're having with this family?"

Kazuya spoke up and pointed to Heihaci. "Well it all started when this old ballsack threw me off a cliff-"

Lee interuped Kazuya. "No, I wanna start with my problem! Heihachi used me just to piss of Kazuya! I'm not even a real member of the family! My last name is fucking Chaolan!"

Jin stood up. "Oh my god. Have we all forgotten that I got thrown out of a helicopter..While air-bore without a parachute AND I got shot in the head by my unstable grandpa!"

Heihaci finally spoke up. "I whipped you bitches all into shape. Kazuya would have still been a crying little pussy if it wasn't for me. Jin would have still been a mama's boy. And Lee, get the hell over it."

"I cannot believe you guys are picking on Jin. He is a sweet boy!" Jun walked over and craddled Jin's face. Jin smiled.

Heihachi rolled his eyes. "Oh please, he was a one night stand, broken condom baby.."

"WHAT!" Jin and Jun yelled at the same time.

"Okay fuck you and that sun-dried raisin you called your wife." Jun yelled at Heihachi.

Asuka finally stood up. "This therapy session is going nowhere. No one care about you guys' Billboard No hundred ass problems! People like me have real issues!"

Jin scoffed. "Oh please why are you even here?"

"My dad got send to the hospital because of your crappy job of trying to run the Mishima Zaibatsu. He's hurting right now. And you're a pervert!"

"I'm not the reason your dad has a fucking terrible immune system. You'd think with that money you making off that ragedy ass dojo, you could at least afford to hire a doctor!" Jin yelled. "And how am I a perv?"

"Did you forget what you did in Tekken 5?"

Jin did a facepalm. "Oh my god. That was back in Tekken 5. And I told you it was an accident!"

"What did he do?" The therapist asked.

"He purposely fell face first in my boobs!"

Everyone started to look at Jin. "I was unconscious. And don't build yourself up 'cause you're pretty flat."

Asuka's mouth dropped open and she covered her chest. "You son of a bitch!"

"Jin, don't build YOURSELF up. You probably have a tic tac! Your weiner is probably the same lenght of your girlfriend's hair." Kazuya said.

"Well in that case, Its long because Xiaoyu's hair be drapin' Thank you very much. And I would say the same for you if your lonesome ass had a girl. Go back to that Toyota i-Road you pulled up in."

"Yeah, she's drapin' with that horse hair and bitch please, I don't drive. I fly. Unlike you, I know how to control my devil powers."

"Okay first, Her hair is all natural and genuine unlike them fake ass devil powers. Second, you can't control your tiny penis when you have to take a piss."

"Ohh." The room went. Jin sat back in his seat.

"Fake devil powers? I got thrown off a cliff and got my power from the source. You're the one that was all up on Azazel's dick trying to scoop up fake shit. Instead of #BuffLars it should be #BuffJin.

"Right, right okay. At least I didn't have sex one time in my whole life and like in your late 40s." Jin shot back.

"Oh please boy. Do you even know what a vagina looks like?" Kazuya asked.

"Yeah, I see you everyday."

"Ooohhhhh.." The room went.

"Alright I'm done." He said sitting back down.

"Can we please talk about how I am so unwanted in the Mishima family?! I'm hurting too! I don't even get to have the Mishima last name. I've always wanted to be Lee Mishima! Is that too much to ask?!" Lee said standing up.

"Oh god, why don't you sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Lee?" Heihaci said rolling his eyes.

"This session is a waste of valuable time. I'm the only stable in this family! That's why I run shit in the Mishima Zaibatsu." Jin said.

"Please if anything, I'M the most powerful on in this family!" Kazuya said.

Heihachi started to laugh loudly.

"What the fuck is so funny?" Kazuya said.

"I'm just amused that Planet of the apes and King Kong thought they was running shit." Heihachi said still laughing.

"Ohh are ya'll butt hurt or nah?" Asuka said to Jin and Kazuya.

"Lets also not forget how Jin's a man-whore.." Asuka mumbled.

"How am I a man-whore. I have a long term relationship with ONE girl."

"You've been with Christie, Julia, and Nina."

Jin's eyes grew wide.

"Okay first off, I have never dated Christie. We only dated in that crappy 2010 movie, which was god-awful. Plus, she's always on Eddy's dick. Second, I don't know where the hell you got Julia from. Who is Julia? Third, I wouldn't date Nina because she scares me! If anything your douche bag boyfriend should be the man-whore around here!"

Asuka scoffed. "Please, me and Hwoarang broke up months ago."

"Aw he finally woke the hell up and dumped you? I'm surprised you didn't go Lesbian on us."

"Fool, what?!" Asuka yelled.

"Ya know, you and that girl Lili." Jin laughed.

"Hmph, That's a lot coming from a guy that's just now getting laid. How much did you have to pay Xiaoyu to let you sleep with her?" Asuka shot back

"Ooohhh." The room went again.

"Bitch please, I'm sexy. I don't have to pay nobody." Jin leaned back in his chair.

"No, I'm sexy; You triflin, "

"Okay how much did Hwoarang have to pay you for a hand job?"

"As much as your girlfriend's horse hair cost."

"Well it must have been free because her hair is all natural!"

"Speaking of hair, Jin you need to fix that situation. You look like you just woke up." Lee said laughing.

"Ha ha, Yeah ya'll so fucking funny but bitch I woke up in a big ass mansion where ya'll wish ya'll was. You woke up in the projects and your rent is due. And shouldn't you be dick riding on Anna- Oops."

"Jin, that's enough! Don't talk to your cousin that way, Your father, Or your Grandpa or uncle." Jun said to Jin.

"They just called me a Man-whore, A perv, King Kong, and said I had a tic tac! They have forced me to go in on them."

"It doesn't matter. We are all family. Weather we like it or not. All our names will always be Mishima or Kazama and we have to learn to deal with it because family only comes once in a lifetime. So we should cherish each other, Lock each other in our hearts."

"Kazuya doesn't have a heart.." Jin mumbled. Jun hit Jin in the back of his head.

"Sorry mommy."

**Well thats it. I hope I at least made you smile lol. If it wasn't funny, I'm sorry. I don't usually write humor fanfics ^_-**


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